Major congrats to Britney & Glory Johnson (and a bit of surprise)

[HuskyNan]

That's a shame that someone is only considered a basketball player without any acknowledgement of who they are as a person.

Are you deliberately misunderstanding? Hoops Fan didn't say Geno doesn't care about his players just that the UConn players' personal lives don't affect how he interacts with them. Gay/straight, white/black, rich/poor, urban/suburban, etc etc - it doesn't make a difference how Geno treats them.

 

[ndmb]

Are you deliberately misunderstanding? Hoops Fan didn't say Geno doesn't care about his players just that the UConn players' personal lives don't affect how he interacts with them. Gay/straight, white/black, rich/poor, urban/suburban, etc etc - it doesn't make a difference how Geno treats them.

I'm not ETT, but I cringed when I read Marlborough's post. I'm happy about the idea that we shouldn't coach players differently depending on their sexual orientation, but it reminded me of the old "I don't care whether you're white, black, purple, or blue with green polka dots" bit. The reality is that people are treated differently because of their sexuality (even by well intentioned people subconsciously) and the act of pretending that you treat everyone the same (when nobody really does) has the affect of perpetuating injustices against people who aren't straight.

Edited to add: Someone's sexual orientation is a component who they are, does affect their lived experiences, and to flippantly say that no one is gay at UConn because everyone is treated the same is disrespectful of that reality. Most straight people don't realize that being straight HAS had an affect on their lives, because they had the privilege of growing up in a society where their sexual orientation was the default.

 

[easttexastrash]

Would someone please duplicate this under their name, apparently, ETT has me on ignore.





I suspect it may be true that you are not connected into the right sections of the LGBTQ communities to be aware of its regular usage today. Here is PFLAG's statement which acknowledges the popular usage among young people today and the consternation it causes among some older members of the LBGT community. LINK TO PFLAG I shared the site of Outright Vermont because it is just one example of current usage and I would never expect you to just take my word for something so personal to so many.

I don't like it and never will, no matter which organizations have decided to make it acceptable. Maybe it IS a generational thing and the younger generation is willing to embrace the term. I am not. It has been used in a very negative way in the past and I will never think of this word as a "generaliztion" of all people who do not fall under the description of "sexual normality."

I do not identify with transgendered people, thus I do not wish to be under the "umbrella" with the transgended community. I prefer LBGT as each group is represnted as an idividual group, an each has unique characteristics. Call me a queer if you want, but to me it shows utter disprespect.

 

[easttexastrash]

I'm not going to tell you what you should or your friends should personally want to be called, but I do want to reiterate that it is the default term in a lot of circles.

And I disagree with that "default." I am a gay man...I do not identify myslef as "queer."

What I am trying to say is that the word "queer" is not accepted by all (probably most) and it is very risky for a straight person to use that word to identify anyone. Use it at your own risk of sounding like a biggot when speaking to a person who may be offended by the word.

 

[easttexastrash]

Would someone please duplicate this under their name, apparently, ETT has me on ignore.





I suspect it may be true that you are not connected into the right sections of the LGBTQ communities to be aware of its regular usage today. Here is PFLAG's statement which acknowledges the popular usage among young people today and the consternation it causes among some older members of the LBGT community. LINK TO PFLAG I shared the site of Outright Vermont because it is just one example of current usage and I would never expect you to just take my word for something so personal to so many.

I suggest that PFLAG change its name to PQUEERS and see how well that goes over.

 

[HuskyNan]

I'm not ETT, but I cringed when I read Marlborough's post. I'm happy about the idea that we shouldn't coach players differently depending on their s e xual orientation, but it reminded me of the old "I don't care whether you're white, black, purple, or blue with green polka dots" bit. The reality is that people are treated differently because of their s e xuality (even by well intentioned people subconsciously) and the act of pretending that you treat everyone the same (when nobody really does) has the affect of perpetuating injustices against people who aren't straight.

Edited to add: Someone's s e xual orientation is a component who they are, does affect their lived experiences, and to flippantly say that no one is gay at UConn because everyone is treated the same is disrespectful of that reality. Most straight people don't realize that being straight HAS had an affect on their lives, because they had the privilege of growing up in a society where their s e xual orientation was the default.

I personally am:

Female
White
Heterosexual
Married
A college graduate
A mom
A sister
An accountant
A reader of books
A band parent
A history buff
A gardener
A forum administrator
Treasurer of the Band Parents' Association.....

There must be a hundred labels I could stick on myself. Each has influenced my personal growth and how I treat others. I refuse to use one as My Identity because I am more than that and so is every other LGBTQ person in the world. If LGBTQ people want to be viewed as LGBTQ only or if they view their relationships with others through that single part of their identity, they are selling themselves short. People are more than just their sexuality.

If LGBTQ players in Geno's program want to be viewed as a gay woman that plays basketball, she's doomed to be disappointed because Geno - who may or may not know that the woman is gay - wants to talk about her failure to drive to the hoop consistently more than he wants to discuss a certain part of her identity. If you think that Geno should know about his players' sexuality, I couldn't disagree more strongly. It's none of his business. If players want to discuss it with him, I would guess he'd most likely listen but I don't think he should go out of his way to learn who his players are dating any more than he should be asking them what religion they are.

 

[meyers7]

Well this disappoints me greatly. Makes me want to vomit actually.

Marrying a Vol?? Gross!

Have to agree with you. There are just certain things you don't do. Having any kind of relationship with a LadyLike, gag me with a spoon.

 

[ndmb]

I personally am:

Female
White
Heteros e xual
Married
A college graduate
A mom
A sister
An accountant
A reader of books
A band parent
A history buff
A gardener
A forum administrator
Treasurer of the Band Parents' Association.....

There must be a hundred labels I could stick on myself. Each has influenced my personal growth and how I treat others. I refuse to use one as My Identity because I am more than that and so is every other LGBTQ person in the world. If LGBTQ people want to be viewed as LGBTQ only or if they view their relationships with others through that single part of their identity, they are selling themselves short. People are more than just their s e xuality.

If LGBTQ players in Geno's program want to be viewed as a gay woman that plays basketball, she's doomed to be disappointed because Geno - who may or may not know that the woman is gay - wants to talk about her failure to drive to the hoop consistently more than he wants to discuss a certain part of her identity. If you think that Geno should know about his players' s e xuality, I couldn't disagree more strongly. It's none of his business. If players want to discuss it with him, I would guess he'd most likely listen but I don't think he should go out of his way to learn who his players are dating any more than he should be asking them what religion they are.

You're setting up a straw man here. I don't think that ANYODY wants to be viewed solely through any singular part of their identity. I don't think that people are not more than just their sexuality. I do not think that Geno should know about each player's sexuality. I don't think that he should go out of his way to learn who his players are dating.

 

[easttexastrash]

It is not uncommon for some gays to refer to straight people as "breeders." I do not like the use of that phrase as it smacks of negativity.

 

[meyers7]

It is not uncommon for some gays to refer to straight people as "breeders." I do not like the use of that phrase as it smacks of negativity.

I kind of like that one.

 

[RadyLady]

Have to agree with you. There are just certain things you don't do. Having any kind of relationship with a LadyLike, gag me with a spoon.

Except that I have always liked Glory. Of all the Vols, she was a nose to the grindstone type of player who never took a play off. maybe if it were some other Vol.....

 

[Icebear]

I don't like it and never will, no matter which organizations have decided to make it acceptable. Maybe it IS a generational thing and the younger generation is willing to embrace the term. I am not. It has been used in a very negative way in the past and I will never think of this word as a "generaliztion" of all people who do not fall under the description of "s e xual normality."

I do not identify with transgendered people, thus I do not wish to be under the "umbrella" with the transgended community. I prefer LBGT as each group is represnted as an idividual group, an each has unique characteristics. Call me a queer if you want, but to me it shows utter disprespect.

I didn't say you should accept it or use it. I was pointing simply that it has become a common usage among younger people within the LGBTQ community. It was only that reality that I was conveying. No matter how you or how many of one's personal friends deny it it is a term embraced by many within the LGBTQ community and is not considered as a negative by them. It as a big tent or umbrella term.

 

[Icebear]

I suggest that PFLAG change its name to PQUEERS and see how well that goes over.

Like it or not PFLAG and the Human Rights Campaign have both been organizations that have been pioneers in the work to promote affirmation and acceptance and advocacy for LGBTQ persons and both use "queer."

 

[ndmb]

I didn't say you should accept it or use it. I was pointing simply that it has become a common usage among younger people within the LGBTQ community. It was only that reality that I was conveying. No matter how you or how many of one's personal friends deny it it is a term embraced by many within the LGBTQ community and is not considered as a negative by them. It as a big tent or umbrella term.

It's also a term that doesn't reinforce gender roles, which (combined with the fact that you couldn't string together enough letters to encompass every gender or sexual identity) is why the name has risen to prominence in the younger generation.

 

[RadyLady]

It is interesting that there are words - descriptive nouns shunned in the past that are seeing a resurgence with today's youth, those who were not born at the time the words were seen as disparaging. "Queer" is one of them and the "N-word" is another. Bill Cosby has a great rant about that.

File this one under "Know your history"

 

[caravaggio]

That's not the issue for many "queers." I grew up with it being a slur, often directed at me. However, when I learned about queer theory and the socio-political reasons many lgbtq individuals choose to identify as queer; I embraced the term myself because I agreed and still very much agree with the reasoning behind it, which I mentioned before.

This is true of many people I know who also had the term used against them, including many people much older.

As I previously mentioned, I think geography, as well as age, may impact a person's sexual identity identification.

I can understand why some people may choose gay, lesbian, bisexual, but for me, it's not something with which I'm comfortable.

So I hope, ETT, you will appreciate that there are people for whom gay and lesbian is more acceptable, but there are also some for whom gay is not a term with which we are comfortable and we embrace being queer.

 

[Zorro]

I think it is very interesting to compare this discussion with the one on the VolNation board. The discussion here has been frank and open, with many different opinions expressed, along with the reasons for those opinions being held, but has been conducted in a very reasonable and dignified manner with mutual respect and consideration. I did read a considerable portion of the VN thread on the topic, and it was quite different, to say the least. I have not read the Baylor board nor the (gasp) Summitt, but I am willing to bet that I have not missed much that I would care to read. That is what raises the Boneyard high above the competition, and the mods are greatly to be praised for creating the atmosphere in which this can take place. My 0wn feeling is that it is always right to choose the term which is least likely to be offensive. While it seems to be changing, gay and lesbian seem still to be those terms among people of my acqaintance.

Incidentally, as almost everybody is already aware, we have, over the past fifty or sixty years, been through a number of changes in acceptable terms for people of color. Negro, colored, black, Afro-American, African-American. I was re-reading last night some of the great Mr. Dooley columns of Finley Peter Dunne, written around 1900, and was amazed to see him using the term Afro-Americans. The more things change, the more they remain the same.

 

[cockhrnleghrn]

It shouldn't be. It is offensive.

I don't care for it and I don't use it, but if the person using it is LGBT I can live with it. It's similar to when African-Americans use the N word and I don't like hearing that, either. Some people feel that by "taking back" words used derisively about themselves, it takes the hurtfulness out of them. Back to the subject, I'm immensely happy for them and I'm looking forward to when I can get married in the state of my choosing.

 

[cockhrnleghrn]

It might actually be a generational issue. I self identify as queer (although I'm also a a gay man). Queer is actually the term preferred by many radical lgbtq activists for a variety of reasons. In addition to the co-option/reclaiming of the term some have mentioned, it is preferred by me (after studying "queer theory" as an undergraduate at Brown and while doing my ph.d at Oxford), and many of my and younger generations because:

1. It offers a more fluid conceptualization of s e xuality. A la Kinsey, I think the dichotomy of straight and gay (plus bis e xual) is inaccurately rigid and the basis for a great deal of oppression;
2. It also is a more unifying term for the "lgbtq community." Instead of dividing us into different labels (and often creating/reifying power structures that favor gay men over women, transgendered individuals);
3. It creates an important alliance between s e xual orientation and gender identity; many transgendered people prefer being identified as "genderqueer" as opposed to having to be forced into a socially constructed role of male/female.

I was a member of the local Queer Nation chapter in Columbia back in the 90's when it became popular. I was ok with the organizational name, but I've never used the term to describe individuals. I think you're right; it is a generational thing.

 

[DaddyChoc]

a majority of the volnation posters are rednecks with attitudes from the 50's. they do not represent lady vol fans at all. in fact, a lot of them don't like the lady vols even as TN fans. it is the internet though. people are free to look as ignorant as they want.

thats what I like about VolNation... and they question each other on how the LV's can play like UConn, honesty. they dont hold each other hand

 

[BooRadley]

I've been hanging out on this forum since the days of blacksmiths and say-weavers, and once again I am confronted with the remarkable quality of this board.

Nan, JS, & Biff have obviously done a wonderful job of setting a unique tone for a web forum, but you are responsible for creating the quality discussions on subjects that on any other sports forum take on the characteristics of a mean-spirited middle-school food fight. I'd be hard pressed to find the incredibly high percentage of thoughtful and thoughtfully expressed posts in this thread on any other sports forum.

I am so often so impressed by so many of you. (too many "so's"? I felt a bit Chuchill-esque for a moment.)

Damn, I love this place.

Boo

 

[Zorro]

"I am so often so impressed by so many of you. (too many "so's"? I felt a bit Chuchill-esque for a moment."

So what?

 

[cohenzone]

Who uses the word "queer" anymore?

Well, it does have other meanings.

 

[ndmb]

"I am so often so impressed by so many of you. (too many "so's"? I felt a bit Chuchill-esque for a moment."

So what?

Hey, we all get on our so box from time to time.

 

[reno tony]

That's a shame that someone is only considered a basketball player without any acknowledgement of who they are as a person.

Why does it matter to a coach, or anyone for that matter, [crude reference deleted] if someone is gay? It bothers me that someone thinks they deserve some extra attention because they are gay. Right now it seem chic to be the first to come out in some particular sport and profess your gayness. Whoooooooooo cares.

I hear these baloney quotes "He should be an inspiration", "She will be a role model". Go out and help people in need, feed the hungry, help the poor and ill. That makes you an inspiration to others and allows you to be a role model.

For all the world to know..... "I am a heterosexual." There, I said it. Now let the bashing begin.

I actually like BG and think she is a nice person and am happy for her for that reason. Her se x ual preference has nothing to do with it either way.