OT: Paying It Forward

[Kolumbo]

OK - sorta humble brag....
One time when I was at the grocery store with my wife, I was finishing up the checkout process and she was walking toward the exit. My wife saw a woman with a toddler on her hip who didn't have enough money to pay for all the groceries that she was buying and started putting a few things back - not crap items but things like milk or butter. So my wife walked up, told the checker to put everything back in the bags and paid for the entire purchase.

She's a good woman.

I like that much better that buying for someone sitting in an idling vehicle buying overpriced coffee. I make coffee at home because it is so much cheaper, why waste money on buying someone else's coffee. Merry Christmas!!

 

[WeAreUCONN]

So here is a little story about paying it forward:

An older gentleman, at the order board at the drive through. Impatient woman in the car behind him leans on the horn, to hurry him along.

He is a little annoyed at her rudeness, but at the pay window, he offers to pay for her order, as well as his own.

As she gets to the pay window, she is informed that he payed. She gives a friendly toot on the horn to him, and waves, cheerfully.

He waves back.

When he gets to the pick up window, he picks up her order as well as his, after all, he does have the receipt.

As he drives away, he takes great comfort in having rewarded her rude impatience with the gift to her of one more spin through the drive through.

Legend

 

[Hey Adrien!]

OK - sorta humble brag....
One time when I was at the grocery store with my wife, I was finishing up the checkout process and she was walking toward the exit. My wife saw a woman with a toddler on her hip who didn't have enough money to pay for all the groceries that she was buying and started putting a few things back - not crap items but things like milk or butter. So my wife walked up, told the checker to put everything back in the bags and paid for the entire purchase.

She's a good woman.

Class act!

That pales my grocery store story today of noticing an older gentleman looking at the top shelf of one of the aisles. I asked him if he needed help and he said yes, I want that last jar of horseradish sauce and it's all the way in the back of the shelf. I couldn't reach it without a boost, so I used the bottom shelf as the first step of a ladder, hopped up there, tipped the jar forward enough that I was able to reach it the attempt without jumping.

After our thank yous, you're welcomes and merry christmases we moved along our shopping. We crossed paths later on our errands and he goes I'm making prime rib tonight and what's prime rib without horseradish sauce? Thanks again!

It made my day.

 

[jibsey]

Class act!

That pales my grocery store story today of noticing an older gentleman looking at the top shelf of one of the aisles. I asked him if he needed help and he said yes, I want that last jar of horseradish sauce and it's all the way in the back of the shelf. I couldn't reach it without a boost, so I used the bottom shelf as the first step of a ladder, hopped up there, tipped the jar forward enough that I was able to reach it the attempt without jumping.

After our thank yous, you're welcomes and merry christmases we moved along our shopping. We crossed paths later on our errands and he goes I'm making prime rib tonight and what's prime rib without horseradish sauce? Thanks again!

It made my day.

He's correct.

 

[Fairfield_1st]

I paid for ther car behind me once. I don't drink coffee, so I don't frequent those places much. In my story, the person behind me was Cromwell PD. I doubt I'd do it for a random person.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

That’s even more weird. So you buy them something they may not want?

Untold millions will receive something they may not want when they gather on Christmas morning.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

So here is a little story about paying it forward:

An older gentleman, at the order board at the drive through. Impatient woman in the car behind him leans on the horn, to hurry him along.

He is a little annoyed at her rudeness, but at the pay window, he offers to pay for her order, as well as his own.

As she gets to the pay window, she is informed that he payed. She gives a friendly toot on the horn to him, and waves, cheerfully.

He waves back.

When he gets to the pick up window, he picks up her order as well as his, after all, he does have the receipt.

As he drives away, he takes great comfort in having rewarded her rude impatience with the gift to her of one more spin through the drive through.

Post/handle

 

[CL82]

One time when my kids were very young a woman in her late 50s early 60s walked over to my table complemented my kids on their behavior and offered them each a quarter. She didn’t look like she was a person of means and my kids were young and I was still grooming them about not to take things from strangers, so I think there for the compliment but told her the quarters were not necessary. She said it gives me pleasure to do it, is it OK? And I said of course and thanked her and wish her a Merry Christmas which she returned.

I haven’t thought about that in years.

 

[Dove]

One time when my kids were very young a woman in her late 50s early 60s walked over to my table complemented my kids on their behavior and offered them each a quarter. She didn’t look like she was a person of means and my kids were young and I was still grooming them about not to take things from strangers, so I think there for the compliment but told her the quarters were not necessary. She said it gives me pleasure to do it, is it OK? And I said of course and thanked her and wish her a Merry Christmas which she returned.

I haven’t thought about that in years.

Yeah, a dollar would have been a lot nicer of her.

 

[CL82]

Yeah, a dollar would have been a lot nicer of her.

It was a while ago and I suspect that she may have had limited funds.

 

[husky429]

It was a while ago and I suspect that she may have had limited funds.

A quarter for her probably meant more than a 20 from someone else

 

[freshler40]

Four of us, three being former Vets. were having breakfast in Bloomfield. During our chat, some of which was about VA health care, a guy and his wife apparently overheard the discussion. Upon our check-out the cashier said our breakfast was paid for. We were in a happy shock for most of the day. Wow what a nice thing.

On occasion, we have played it back by adding a fixed some to the CC like $10 or 20 in a random way or point out to the cashier the party behind us to be gifted. It's a great feeling to do this, a real high! Life is good, make it better!

 

[husky429]

I popped into this thread and told my fiance about it. She used to work at a Starbucks during her undergrad at UNC (don't worry I claim her degree is fake to this day).

Her response "pay it forward s*** was awful. Everyone ended up paying about the same amount anyways and it was super confusing for everyone working. False sense of positivity. It makes people feel good even though they mostly don't lose money, and just pisses off everyone working."

I think I picked a winner I can see why she did well in law school lol

Her best story is about the prostitute who came in every morning after work and got a latte with TWENTY pumps of espresso. Twenty.

 

[8893]

Her response "pay it forward s*** was awful. Everyone ended up paying about the same amount anyways and it was super confusing for everyone working. False sense of positivity. It makes people feel good even though they mostly don't lose money, and just pisses off everyone working."

I can understand why it could be confusing for employees in that situation if it continues for a few cars after the first one, but I don’t understand why she considers it a false sense of positivity. If it makes people feel good, it makes them feel good. What’s false about that? Plenty of people in this thread can attest to that, and it seemed very genuine to me.

 

[CL82]

I can understand why it could be confusing for employees in that situation if it continues for a few cars after the first one, but I don’t understand why she considers it a false sense of positivity. If it makes people feel good, it makes them feel good. What’s false about that? Plenty of people in this thread can attest to that, and it seemed very genuine to me.

I’m guessing it is because economically it is a net nothing for most people. Essentially, the only person who has an economic cost is the first person to buy the coffee for the person behind them and the only people person who benefits are the @Waquoits of the world who take the coffee and walk away without buying for the person behind them, likely muttering “suckers.”

 

[8893]

I’m guessing it is because economically it is a net nothing for most people. Essentially, the only person who has an economic cost is the first person to buy the coffee for the person behind them and the only people person who benefits are the @Waquoits of the world who take the coffee and walk away without buying for the person behind them, likely muttering “suckers.”

I think reducing it to an economic cost misses the point: those on the receiving end feel good. Whether they pay it forward immediately or not, the net result seems to be a multiplication of acts of kindness.

Things like holding a door for someone or expressing extra patience with people when things don’t go your way don’t “cost” anything, but they seem to have a ripple effect of taking the edge off people, if nothing else. I think that’s a positive and don’t see what’s false about it, as long it’s a genuine gesture.

 

[CL82]

I think reducing it to an economic cost misses the point: those on the receiving end feel good. Whether they pay it forward immediately or not, the net result seems to be a multiplication of acts of kindness.

Things like holding a door for someone or expressing extra patience with people when things don’t go your way don’t “cost” anything, but they seem to have a ripple effect of taking the edge off people, if nothing else. I think that’s a positive and don’t see what’s false about it, as long it’s a genuine gesture.

I was just speculating on her thought process.

I’m a lifetime advocate of the small kindness theory for the reasons you articulated. Especially things like holding the door for someone, letting someone with a fussy child go ahead of you and line, letting cars in, etc. It “costs” you nothing but a few seconds it makes the world a little more pleasant.

For what it’s worth, I’m also a big advocate for civility, tiny things like greeting people you pass in close proximity, or standing when a woman arrives or leaves a table. I like a civil world and it is amazing how contagious it is.

 

[wheelerdog]

This is a truly bizarre collection of humans ...

 

[uconnfan68]

I was just speculating on her thought process.

I’m a lifetime advocate of the small kindness theory for the reasons you articulated. Especially things like holding the door for someone, letting someone with a fussy child go ahead of you and line, letting cars in, etc. It “costs” you nothing but a few seconds it makes the world a little more pleasant.

For what it’s worth, I’m also a big advocate for civility, tiny things like greeting people you pass in close proximity, or standing when a woman arrives or leaves a table. I like a civil world and it is amazing how contagious it is.

No wonder you left the Leach Field.

 

[CL82]

No wonder you left the Leach Field.

Lol never joined. I bailed when it was still the cesspool. What started out as legitimate and interesting debate devolved into a bunch of toddlers calling each other names. Not particularly interesting.

Ironically, I think the name the leaching field came from my suggestion in the big PM group that used to run parallel to the old cesspool.

 

[mussels]

Dear Players and Coaches:

As this challenging year draws to a close, first off - thanks for all you have done to return UConn Basketball to its rightful place in the sports world. Second, please take note of this thread, and you can see that the Boneyard has now found half a dozen ways to second guess, and even outright criticize...... Buying someone a cup of coffee.

So in the the new year, if the harsh unforgiving glare of the Boneyard spotlight happens to shine your way, you can't take it personally - its just who we are.

Wishing you a deep run in March,
Your casual fans at the Boneyard

 

[HuskyHawk]

I popped into this thread and told my fiance about it. She used to work at a Starbucks during her undergrad at UNC (don't worry I claim her degree is fake to this day).

Her response "pay it forward s*** was awful. Everyone ended up paying about the same amount anyways and it was super confusing for everyone working. False sense of positivity. It makes people feel good even though they mostly don't lose money, and just pisses off everyone working."

I think I picked a winner I can see why she did well in law school lol

Her best story is about the prostitute who came in every morning after work and got a latte with TWENTY pumps of espresso. Twenty.

This is more or less what I was thinking. What a giant PITA for no actual gift to anybody who needs it. Just donate some money to a worthy cause. Or gift a Dunkin’ gift card to a homeless person or something. Not trying to be a scrooge, it just does feel a bit like people wanting to pat themselves on the back.

 

[8893]

This is more or less what I was thinking. What a giant PITA for no actual gift to anybody who needs it. Just donate some money to a worthy cause. Or gift a Dunkin’ gift card to a homeless person or something. Not trying to be a scrooge, it just does feel a bit like people wanting to pat themselves on the back.

I’ve never done it or been the recipient in the context of this thread, but I think the disconnect for those who don’t “get it” is that it not meant to be an act of charity or to supplant charitable donations to the needy.

As I understand the concept, it is intended as a simple act of kindness. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hanging expectations on it defeats the purpose.

 

[husky429]

I’ve never done it or been the recipient in the context of this thread, but I think the disconnect for those who don’t “get it” is that it not meant to be an act of charity or to supplant charitable donations to the needy.

As I understand the concept, it is intended as a simple act of kindness. Nothing more, nothing less.

Hanging expectations on it defeats the purpose.

I think of it less as charity and more as just a way to connect with your community. It's rare to have that these days.

 

[Waquoit]

... the only people person who benefits are the @Waquoits of the world who take the coffee and walk away without buying for the person behind them, likely muttering “suckers.”

Projection Alert!