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So I've decided to get into the documentary business and I thought I'd start out with a screenplay about UConn's first day of practice. Obviously I have little (as in none) first-hand knowledge so this will have to be a new film-making genre. "Fictional documentaries" I'm calling them. Anyhoo, I ran into a slight case of writers block and I came up with an idea almost as brilliant as my original, now-stalled, one. Why not open things up to my buds here on the forum? They're a semi-lucid if lackluster bunch. There's a very slight chance (you know, blind pigs and acorns type possibility) one of them might come up with something I can plagiarize. So what do you say, gang, can anybody help a down-and-out, well-meaning-if otherwise-ineffective, fellow-traveler over a rough patch (ideas and/or drugs both accepted with equal gratitude). No actual remuneration involved of course, but I promise I'll earnestly lobby to get you an associate producer credit in the final product. Serious replies only, please. Here's what I've got so far.
Coach Auriemma blows his whistle.
Geno: All right, let's get started. Anybody got any of those...you know, what are they called?
Stewie: Balls Coach?
Geno: Right. Balls.
Geno (to CD): That girl's got the highest basketball IQ I ever saw.
CD: They'll be right out Coach. The guys are still deflating them...or do we need to over-inflate them? I forget. Can we start with something else first?
Geno: Right. Morgan, there's a chair over there. See how long you can hold it scoreless.
Morgan: I'm still warming up, Coach. Can I start with that stool instead?
Geno (to self): Eye yi yi yi freaking yi! Whatever possessed me to go into WOMEN'S basketball?
Geno: Where's that new chick? Katie or Lou or Katie Lou Samuelsomebody?
Napheesa: She's still in the locker room, Coach.
Geno: Why?
Napheesa: She wants to make sure Kaleena is really gone. Something about every time Kaleena came back to Mater Dei to visit she tried to mess with Lou's shot. Kaleena kept putting her are around Lou's shoulder saying how everybody said she had the sweetest stroke they ever saw.
Geno (to CD once he finally stopped shaking his head): Who are all those people in the stands?
CD: I recognize Jim Jabir and Karen Aston. I don't know them all. That's Muffet in the hat and shades. There's Walz in the red and white checked shirt...
Geno: That's Jeff? I thought they were setting up tables for lunch. What are they doing here?
CD: Doris Burke's been selling tickets. She's been plugging our practices on the air for years. I guess she just decided no reason not to make a buck.
Coach Auriemma blows his whistle.
Geno: All right, let's get started. Anybody got any of those...you know, what are they called?
Stewie: Balls Coach?
Geno: Right. Balls.
Geno (to CD): That girl's got the highest basketball IQ I ever saw.
CD: They'll be right out Coach. The guys are still deflating them...or do we need to over-inflate them? I forget. Can we start with something else first?
Geno: Right. Morgan, there's a chair over there. See how long you can hold it scoreless.
Morgan: I'm still warming up, Coach. Can I start with that stool instead?
Geno (to self): Eye yi yi yi freaking yi! Whatever possessed me to go into WOMEN'S basketball?
Geno: Where's that new chick? Katie or Lou or Katie Lou Samuelsomebody?
Napheesa: She's still in the locker room, Coach.
Geno: Why?
Napheesa: She wants to make sure Kaleena is really gone. Something about every time Kaleena came back to Mater Dei to visit she tried to mess with Lou's shot. Kaleena kept putting her are around Lou's shoulder saying how everybody said she had the sweetest stroke they ever saw.
Geno (to CD once he finally stopped shaking his head): Who are all those people in the stands?
CD: I recognize Jim Jabir and Karen Aston. I don't know them all. That's Muffet in the hat and shades. There's Walz in the red and white checked shirt...
Geno: That's Jeff? I thought they were setting up tables for lunch. What are they doing here?
CD: Doris Burke's been selling tickets. She's been plugging our practices on the air for years. I guess she just decided no reason not to make a buck.
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