I wouldn't "avoid" Honolulu, it's a good place for trips to Pearl Harbor, Diamondhead, Waikiki, etc. It wouldn't be the highlight of your trip, but it's not like being in hell (although all the street names sound the same, lol). Besides, you get to see the spectacles of ridiculously ornate and meticulously managed Japanese and Chinese weddings.
I'd spend most of your time on one or two other islands. I actually got married there at the end of a work trip centered in Honolulu, stayed in Lanai at Manele Bay for first few nights (before Larry Ellison bought the island), got married in Maui, then ended with a few days on the Big Island. It was all enjoyable, although we were getting tired of the native food by the end of our 10 days.
Highlights were snorkeling on the Big Island, golfing where the rock outcrops are lava and in what seemed like Jurassic Park (Ko'olau), driving thru the former Dole pineapple fields in Lanai, Pearl Harbor, hellicoptering over active lava flows on the Big Island, and sharing the ferry from Lanai to Maui with goats and chickens. Didn't spend much time in Maui, but we're not the kind of folks who just lay on a beach, and there didn't seem a ton of stuff to do. Didn't get to Kauai, but I've heard great things. By far we enjoyed the Big Island the most due to the diversity of the place (and an actual great steakhouse!).
The key tip I have is that if you're going snorkeling, remove any rings, especially your wedding ring, lest it fall off your finger, like mine did. Not a way to start a marriage, lol.