Nebraska was a strange add in some ways, but it is also one of a handful of national programs. The relationship of Tom Osborne with several of the Big 10 AD's was also critical.
All the other moves are market driven. Colorado and Utah to the Pac 12 were slam dunks, while Oklahoma and Oklahoma State was a rejection. In fact, no one wants the Oklahomas. WVU never got serious consideration from the SEC despite a tremendous football AND basketball program. BYU is at the top of the Big 12's list, over WVU, TCU and Louisville. Funny how Boise has not gotten so much as a sniff from anyone so far.
But keep up the snark. Maybe you will actually pull it off at some point.