Gabby Under Investigation [satire]

[Bigpetunia]

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but during the 4th Quarter of tonight's game the NCAA announced that it had placed Gabby W, mistress of prestidigitation, under investigation. It turns out that what we thought we saw of her early-season performance we did not, in fact, see. This is unsurprising, given that A:, she isn't tall enough, and B:, she can't shoot. Well, EVERYBODY knows those things. It has been reported that she has relied upon the illegal use of performance-enhancing mirrors to create a false illusion of brilliance. Predictably, the NCAA has strict rules that forbid this practice. Sanctions certain to follow...stay tuned.

 

[alexrgct]

You know, if you keep your tongue that firmly in your cheek, it could get stuck there.

 

[NEforceUConn]

Sorry - Really a dumb post.

 

[JavaMan]

And they complain about my post titles!

 

[Sonny44]

I thought it was clever and humorous. Why do we always have to be so serious?

 

[meyers7]

I thought it was clever and humorous. Why do we always have to be so serious?

It was. And we don't.

 

[Blakeon18]

I remember back in the day when Gabby was in high school, there was some speculation that she might consider
redshirting during her soph year at UConn and focus on her considerable high jumping skills with the hope of making the USA track team for Rio
in the summer of 2016. I think I read that Geno would have been onboard should that happen. My sense is that idea went south maybe after her second ACL tear.
Selfishly...I'm glad she decided to do the hoop thing.

Note: I think I read she recently suggested that she might try to return to high jumping after college.
Note #2: somewhere there has been a link to her going 6'2" and a fraction during the 2012 track trials...at 15 years of age...finishing
5th [top 3 make the team].

We got Gabby and nobody else does!

 

[huskyd]

I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but during the 4th Quarter of tonight's game the NCAA announced that it had placed Gabby W, mistress of prestidigitation, under investigation. It turns out that what we thought we saw of her early-season performance we did not, in fact, see. This is unsurprising, given that A:, she isn't tall enough, and B:, she can't shoot. Well, EVERYBODY knows those things. It has been reported that she has relied upon the illegal use of performance-enhancing mirrors to create a false illusion of brilliance. Predictably, the NCAA has strict rules that forbid this practice. Sanctions certain to follow...stay tuned.

More of this, Big P!

 

[Huskies Rule]

 

[BroadwayVa]

And they complain about my post titles!

The Uconn men's team was "under investigation" just before the Yankee Conf title game.. So Uconn Admin in it's most MORAL best suspended the top players for Uconn for that game. It was the longest game. Uconn held the ball like 30 minutes, stalling, and won.
Within the week the Uconn player CHARGED were proven innocent. I remember names--but I won't use them.
So JavaMan I understand!!!
I love Gabby--she's talented, athletic, and beautiful!!!